These Grapes are Tart, or How I Lost My Horrible Job

I'm realizing now that I never actually posted about losing my job. It happened back in November of 2013. I had taken a vacation and a short time after I came back I got sick and ended up missing more days than was allowed. On top of that, I had recently told my new supervisor some things he didn't want to hear:

Him: Management wants the agents to be more self-reliant and stop asking the supervisors for permission before they do every little thing.
Me: That's great! That's how it used to be, years ago. One way to accomplish this change would be for supervisors to back the agents up when they do go out on a limb for their customers. It'll be impossible to foster confidence in the agents without this.
Him: ... Well, WE'RE not going to change anything, only YOU GUYS have to change...

And

Him: I don't understand why agents are so scared of these coaching meetings. It's just an opportunity for me to tell them how they can improve. It's not like they're in trouble or anything.
Me: That's so true. <Unspoken: It SHOULD be true, but we all know it's not true when you say it, you sneaky bastard. >
- A few minutes later his boss walked by and asked to see him after our meeting -
Him: Hoo! That freaks me out a little bit! I don't know what he wants.
Me: Don't worry, it's only a coaching.
- I realize that's a bit cheeky. In my defense, I said it playfully rather than scathingly, and with the hope he'd gain the empathy he clearly lacks for his subordinates. My previous supervisors would've laughed and joked back, and 100% would've understood the point. My new supervisor, however, did not react that way. He narrowed his eyes and replied haughtily -
Him: Well, the difference is, I could get fired at any moment if they choose!
Me: <Awkward pause. Unspoken: How is that different from anyone else? Blink.> Ah. That would be really nerve-wracking.

I had been a customer service agent for that company for 6 years. I wasn't perfect, but I was damn good at my job. Previous supervisors said so, co-workers sought my advice, customers exclaimed that I was so kind and patient, and that no one was able to help them understand things the way I could. Sure, there's always room for improvement (it's hard to give your all to a company you know doesn't care about you anymore), but I was still far from bad at my job. He didn't seem to agree. He found fault in my work any chance he could. I didn't like being told I had no empathy by someone who can't empathize with his own employees, especially when my customers told me the exact opposite. I'm not really sure someone who thinks Jennifer Lawrence is a bad actress because she blinks (and his dog can blink) is qualified to judge empathy, or anything else for that matter.

I had grown to truly hate that job anyway. I'm sure this whole post sounds like a bunch of sour grapes and maybe it is. Whatever. I was shocked when I was let go. I was hurt, I was offended, I was scared, but I was not sad. Not one bit. Never once have I missed that place or those tasks. I love that my phone doesn't ring, and that I don't have to smile through greedy manipulations and petulant complaints. I love that that place has no more power over me.

I hope I never have to work in customer service again.

Old Crushes Die Hard

This guy I used to have a crush on in junior high and high school is newly single.

When I saw that on Facebook I perked up for half a second. As if we lived anywhere near each other, or he was ever attracted to me, or either of us are still who we were 15 years ago, or this meant anything at all to my life.

It was the strangest thing, this brief flash of emotion that meant, "I'll be sure to turn on the charm next period when I see him. Maybe I can try to sit by him at the next pep rally."

I don't still have a crush on this guy, but my brain remembers when I did and is ready to jump right back into that mode.

Oops

Hey, remember when I used to update my blog? Gah. I'll get back to that soon. In the mean time, here's a quick update on my life.

Since I lost my job in November I've been temping in a couple of places. Most recently I was working at a laundry soap factory. It was a conveluted setup that I don't feel like explaining, but my job was to make sure other temps came to work. If they didn't I had to call the other temp agencies who sent them (Why wasn't my temp agency filling the positions? Because it needs to be complicated). Anyway, the factory's company culture / atmosphere was horrible. The managers there acted like I was there to annoy them when I came around to check and make sure they got all their people, rather than being there to do their job for them. They looked at me like I was something gross on the bottom of their shoe, they refused to communicate their needs but expected us to accomodate them anyway, and they wanted a ton of extra services that they didn't want to pay for. If someone didn't show up for work they acted like I was hiding that person in my desk, or no, like I had placed them in my desk and forgotten them because I'm a moron. Oh, and their HR kept forgetting to pay me. Anyway, it was a shitty job and I quit it. So I'm unemployed again. I want to find another job but I'm scared. Everything feels like a trap. 

I know that no job is perfect. I'm not looking for a perfect job. I just don't want to be miserable at work anymore. 

Anyway, the good news is I'm going back to school! I start on August 25. I'll be majoring in English with an emphasis in creative writing. This is what I've always wanted to do. This is what I love doing. I know it's risky, but doing things you don't love for a pay check is deadly.